Cwmderi Diary 2016: 19 April 2016

The return of the Proberts' conjugal bliss

Jim and Eileen kiss on the sofa; “I don’t need anything else but you,” says Jim, but then their peace is disturbed by Sioned and Ed returning from their honeymoon.

“Do you have to?” demands Sioned, “What’s this – Romeo and Juliet? Love conquers all, is it?”

"The Maldives are great"

Ed rather unenthusiastically tells them that the Maldives were great, and Sioned advises, “I’ve recharged my batteries and made plans – that’s why I want the envelope Angela left for me!”

Then comes the moment they have been dreading . . .

Expecting fireworks, Jim and Eileen reveal that the envelope was in fact empty – there is no money.

. . . but Sioned's reaction is quite tame

“What else would you expect from that two-faced cow?” roars Sioned, “We shall just have to work harder now.” Eileen remarks that her attitude is very mature, and Sioned, unnaturally calmly, suggests, “Let’s have a cup of tea to celebrate being home.”

"I want to check my Volcano account"

Tyler asks if Iolo will be long with the tablet, as he wants to check his Volcano account. “I don’t think you should go ahead with that,” replies Iolo,

"You could have a more loving relationship"

“You don’t need it. What pleasure do you get from going off with men you don’t know? You could have a more loving relationship without going on Volcano.”

"Thank you for your words of wisdom, Mam!"

Tyler tells him, “When I’m looking for a ‘more loving relationship’, I’ll remember your words of wisdom, Mam!” Iolo hands over the tablet.

"I left your netting round the corner"

Jim delivers some netting to Penrhewl, and DJ, just back from market, tells him that Tom, Fynnon Wen, invited the National Eisteddfod to use his fields.

"Tom didn't get the Eisteddfod"

“He didn’t get it, as the roads were too narrow.” Jim maintains that they go to big towns. DJ suspects they would pay for the use of the fields,

"The market's affecting your brain!"

but Jim concludes that markets are turning DJ’s brain.

"Ooh, look at the colour of that water!"

Eileen looks at Sioned’s photos on her phone;

"We couldn't afford to go scuba diving"

“We couldn’t afford to go scuba diving,” says Sioned, wistfully, and Eileen describes it as a very romantic place.

"I thought it was getting better between us"

When Eileen goes down to the shop, Sioned warns Ed not to touch her: Ed remarks, “I know you’ve been let down, but I thought it was getting better between us.”

"The thought of the money was the only thing that kept me going!"

“Whatever gave you that idea?” she demands, “I’ve had to go on honeymoon with the bloke who slept with my sister days before we got married! The thought of that money was the only thing that kept me going. ‘Let down’ doesn’t come close!”

Ed sees a miserable future stretching ahead of him

Ed pleads that he will make it up to her, and she sneers, “Good luck with that!”

"Why have you summoned me?"

Kelly asks why she has been summoned by Iolo, who tells her he tried to get Tyler to give up Volcano, without success. She tells him, “Right, plan B – you’re going to join Volcano! You never know where it will lead,”

"But it won't lead to Tyler!"

but Iolo argues that it will not lead to Tyler.

"Surely not everyone is looking for a one-night-stand?"

“You might find someone better than Tyler,” she suggests, but Iolo does not want to pick up the first bloke who says yes – he is not that sort of person. She says, “Surely not everyone on Volcano is looking for a one-night-stand? You might find someone the same as you – you haven’t got much to lose, have you?”

"What if the National Eisteddfod came here?"

DJ asks Cadno, “What would you say if the National Eisteddfod used Penrhewl fields for their Maes, or whatever they call the site?”

"What were you drinking at the market?"

Cadno asks what he was drinking at the market, and laughs at the prospect of DJ singing and dancing in a shawl and tall hat.

The committee meeting convenes

The meeting in Bethania begins; in the chair, Anita tells them,

Anita introduces their agenda

“The circumstances are unfortunate, but we have to see tonight as a happy occasion. I hope that, in the absence of any other candidate, we can appoint Megan Harries as the new leader of Bethania.”

Megan is confident everything is under control

Megan smiles contentedly.

A couple of strangers on the committee

Anita discloses that Eirwyn Jones and Jac Tomos have apologised for their absence; the door opens and Siôn enters the chapel,

Siôn adds a touch of intrigue to the proceedings

sitting down in a pew, and folding his arms.

"Welcome back, you lucky sod!"

As Ed walks sadly along the back street, Kelly sees him; “Welcome back, you lucky sod! Did the Maldives live up to the hype?” he replies merely that they were ‘all right’, so she deduces that they did not.

"You can tell Auntie Kelly, you know"

“What’s wrong? You can tell Auntie Kelly, you know.”

Sioned emerges from the back door of the shop,

Sioned joins them

and Kelly comments, “Didn’t you see enough of each other on honeymoon?” then decides it is advisable to walk away.

"Do you fancy her now?"

Sioned demands, “What were you going to tell her? Do you fancy her now? I don’t know if I can trust you now not to sleep with another woman – after Angela!”

"Why go ahead with the wedding, then?"

Ed retorts, “Why go ahead with the wedding, then? I know you’re angry – and you’ve got every right to be – but if you can’t find a way to forgive me and move on, this marriage is over before it has begun. I can only make so many apologies.”

Sioned turns to him; “Perhaps I shall have to tell everyone about you and the nurse from hell! I’m sure they’d love to hear that little scandal!”

"Yes, go on – tell them!"

Ed does not care; “Yes, go on – tell them! If you want to destroy the marriage, I won’t be in Cwmderi much longer – is that what you want?”

As the committee raise their hands . . .

Anita invites a show of hands, and at this point Siôn stands up;

. . . Siôn starts to put his point of view . . .

“I’d like to say something which might affect this appointment. The fact is, I’m not the person you think I am. There are some things you should know, and decisions you should make, based on that information.”

. . . until Gwyneth tries to dissuade him

Gwyneth bursts in and begs Siôn to stop, but he continues, “You know what Megan thinks of me – but you don’t know why.”

"Is he going to drop me right in it?"

As Megan fears the worst, Gwyneth becomes more insistent; “Don’t do this – I’m begging you – this is not the way – please, Siôn, for my sake!” Convinced, Siôn then sits down,

"Panic over – and I'm the winner!"

and Anita announces that Megan has been appointed the interim leader of Bethania.

"Volcano, is it?"

Seeing Iolo looking at the tablet, Tyler comments, “Volcano, is it? You’ve had a sudden change of heart – what happened to the ‘more loving relationship’?

"You're not streetwise enough!"

“I don’t think this is for you – you’re not streetwise enough!” Iolo reconsiders and abandons the tablet.

Eileen is glad to escape from the meeting, and when she gets back to the shop flat,

"Don't they hold the Eisteddfod in large towns?"

Jim asks her if the Eisteddfod is usually held in large towns.

"It was at Meifod (near Welshpool) not long ago"

She replies, “No, they have it in rural areas too – it was at Meifod not long ago. Why the sudden interest?”

"Tom is thinking of asking them"

Jim tells her that Tom, Ffynnon Wen, is thinking of asking them, so Eileen advises he should contact the Eisteddfod officials and the council.

"What Siôn said is best forgotten"

The rest of the committee file out of Bethania, and Megan is glad that commonsense prevailed; “I hope this will go towards restoring the chapel’s standing. What Siôn said is best forgotten – he’s bitter, that’s all!”

"You self-righteous snobs!"

Gwyneth describes them as ‘self-righteous snobs’.

Siôn congratulates Megan

Siôn congratulates Megan, but she protests, “Don’t congratulate me after that nonsense! I have doubts if either of you is worthy of standing within the four walls of the chapel! No wonder the place is going to the dogs!”

"I can only see one dog!"

Gwyneth is outraged; “I can only see one dog!” she shouts, and Anita urges some restraint.

"This is a licence to print money!"

In the Deri, Jim tells DJ, “This is a licence to print money! Why do you think Tom wants it? Not to walk around, wearing a sheet and wellies! He can smell money! Anyway, the road to Penrhewl is wider!

DJ is rather sceptical

“We’ll ask the council to come over when Cadno’s not about, and see how we get on.”

"Chief Bard DJ Ashurst!"

Then Cadno comes in and jokes about DJ’s latest brainwave; “Chief Bard DJ Ashurst wants to hold the Eisteddfod at Penrhewl!”

"No, I'm not streetwise enough"

Iolo concedes to Tyler that he is insufficiently streetwise, and cannot sleep with someone unless he has feelings for them.

Tyler explains Volcano to him

Tyler apologises for hurting his feelings and offers to show him how Volcano works.

"Who does she think she is?"

Arriving back at Y Felin, Gwyneth snarls, “Who does she think she is? We’re going to get our own back, if it’s the last thing we do! I almost regret stopping you now.”

"It's all over now"

Siôn argues that it would have brought the chapel into disrepute, and that there is no point in trying to remove Megan from the leadership. “It’s all over now, and there is no reason left to fight. The vote for Megan was unanimous – and they looked at me as if I were insane.

"Cwmderi has turned its back on me"

“Cwmderi has turned its back on me – there was a time when I felt like a leader, but those days are long gone!”

"The wicked witch has run away with the money!"

In the Deri, Jim asks Sioned what their plans are now, and she answers, “The idea was to get our own home, but after the wicked witch ran away with the money, you’re stuck with us for a little longer!”

"I'd like Courtney to live with us"

Jim remarks that it would have been nice to have Courtney living with them, now he and Eileen are back together.

"It's all your fault!"

Jim and Eileen go, and Sioned tells Ed it is all his fault;

"Yes, I know, I'm to blame for everything bad!"

he admits, “Yes, I know, I’m to blame for everything bad that happens in Cwmderi! If you took a break from punishing me, and focused on keeping on Eileen’s good side! That means being nice to me – if you’re not, we’ll be out on the street, together or alone!”

"I don't know whether this marriage is worth saving"

Sioned angrily answers, “I’m trying to work out whether this marriage is worth saving. You can’t walk away – if we’re not husband and wife, there’s nothing stopping me going to the police to reveal the identity of Dewi’s murderer!”