Cwmderi Diary 2016: 12 December 2016

"We'll be away for Christmas"

Kelly thinks it strange that Anita is writing Christmas cards, although they will be away on holiday. Kevin comes downstairs, suggesting that he ought to ring Penrhewl to order a turkey;

"I'm doing the cooking!"

“You don’t have to do anything this year,” he tells them, “I’m doing the cooking, as my way of saying thank you.” Anita and Kelly look at each other,

"Do you want me out before Christmas?"

and he asks, “Or do you want me out before then?”

"We're going to be in Bali!"

Kelly enlightens him that they will not be here on Christmas Day, as they are going to Bali. Anita does not like him being here alone, but he assures her, “I’ll be fine – a bottle of sherry and Morecambe and Wise on the box.”

"Don't think I'm welcome at the Deri"

Anita says that the Deri will be open on Christmas morning, but he is not confident of being welcome there.

In the café, seeing Ffion’s harassed look, Gaynor assumes the reason is year 9.

Dani brings the scripts

Dani brings the pantomime scripts, but Ffion answers that she is not in it. “Oh yes, you are!” Tyler pipes up,

"Gethin did what?"

and she is told that Gethin put her name down. She insists that she would be useless,

"You won't know unless you try!"

but Tyler says, “You won’t know unless you try!” Ffion is handed the part of Prettily, an ugly sister.

Outside APD, Jason is struggling with a heavy box which has been delivered; Kevin goes to give him a hand.

Dai objects to this assistance

Dai intervenes with, “Look here, Pharaoh! Pigs like you are not welcome here – I thought I made that clear!”

"It's not right, Dai!"

Jason protests that it is not right, people being so hard on him; as Kevin walks away,

"Right, shift the boxes yourself!"

Jason tells Dai, “Right, shift the boxes yourself!” and follows, ignoring Diane’s entreaties.

"Might as well cancel, then"

In the Deri, Ffion is anxious to get started, as she has marking to do; it appears that Gethin, Iolo and Dol are not coming, so Ed suggests that they cancel. Dani is having none of that; “There will be friends, family and schoolchildren watching – don’t let them down!”

Sioned's uninspiring monotone

First comes Sioned, who reads, in a flat, uninspiring monotone, “I’m the sorceress, ‘Sshh’. Don’t be depressed, babes – you can go to the party – with a bit of magic.”

"Can you be a bit less stiff?"

Dani admonishes her for such a ‘stiff’ delivery;

"A bit more oomph!"

“Try again, with a bit more oomph! It’s a panto, not a tragedy!”

"I haven't got any presents yet"

Anita visits Bryntirion with a present for Diane; “Of course, you’re going away soon,” says Diane, “I haven’t had a chance to get any presents yet – I have so much to do,

"And that mess at Awyr Iach hasn't helped!"

“and that mess at Awyr Iach hasn’t helped!” Anita reassures her that she is only doing her best for the company. “But it’s not good enough, is it?” Diane laments, “I would never have made a mistake like that years ago –

"I'm getting old, Anita!"

“I’m getting old, Anita!”

"Wouldn't it have been easier to start with a clean slate?"

Jason goes to see Kevin, commenting that Dai and Diane are as bad as each other, and wondering why Kevin came back to the village. “Wouldn’t it have been easier to start with a clean slate?”

"People would soon find out"

“The slate wouldn’t have stayed clean very long – people would soon find out what I had done,” replies Kevin, “It was thoughts of Dad that brought me back here. Why did you come back from Australia? You were happy there, weren’t you?”

"Sun, sand, big house with swimming pool"

Jason jokes that he wanted to get away from the sun, sand and big house with a swimming pool, recalling the good times they had there, and how Sara always wanted a traditional meal at Christmas. “I was roasting, never mind the turkey!”

At the rehearsal, Sinderelo (Tyler) thanks the sorceress,

"I don't know how much more of this I can take!"

and Sioned replies, still in her wooden tones, “You have to be home by midnight at the latest – we all need our beauty sleep – some more than others! Have you seen the front row?”

"You're supposed to be acting!"

Dani again instructs Sioned that she is supposed to be acting the part, then moves on to a scene with Ed, Gaynor and Ffion.

Ed, on the other hand, is enjoying himself

Ed, as Father Diabolo, addresses his two daughters, the apples of his eye.

"Gorgeous or what?"

Ffion declares, “Gorgeous or what?”

"No surprise – with my genes!"

“No surprise – with my genes – grrr!” replies Ed, really getting into the part, “Have you seen that Sinder-loser anywhere?

"The best sight in Cwmsmelly – me!"

“Tell him that I want him to clean the mirror, so I can see the best sight in Cwmsmelly – me!” There is a round of applause for his performance.

Ed is dubious about telling Sioned how to act

Dani asks Ed if he will give Sioned some acting pointers; “I’m starting to regret casting her – there’s more oomph in a pebble!”

Then she informs Sioned, “Ed is going to help you with your lines – with some practice, you could be as good as him!”

"I'm slowing down"

Diane bewails the fact that she feels she is slowing down and showing her age; “I want to be organised and on top of things,” she says.

"I wonder what Kevin wants"

Anita replies that she is just tired, then receives a text from Kevin, saying he wants to see her.

"To tell you he's moving on, I hope!"

“To tell you he’s moving on, I hope!” comments Diane, “You’ve done your bit now, and can tell him to leave without feeling guilty.” Anita maintains that he must have somewhere to stay, but Diane warns,

"Not among us!"

“Not among us! It’s bad enough that he has fooled you, but now Jason is falling into the same trap!”

"I'm glad Kevin has one friend!"

“I’m glad that Kevin has one friend – it’s a shame everyone doesn’t have such a big heart!” says Anita, and walks out of the house.

"The meal is nearly ready"

Kevin is cooking a meal when Anita and Kelly arrive home; Kelly checks her phone and comments, “It’s definitely not the 25th!”

"I thought I'd make an early Christmas dinner"

“As you’re both off to Bali, I thought I’d make an early Christmas dinner,” he announces, handing them a drink, “I’ll give you a shout when it’s ready.”

Dai looks as if he is in an arguing mood

When Dai and Diane arrive at Jason’s, Diane emphasises that they are not there to argue; “That makes a change!” replies Jason, “Kevin is sorry for what he did.”

"It's your fault I've done my back in!"

Dai, who has ‘done his back in’, shifting all the boxes, blames it on Jason, who recalls, “Kevin offered to help, if I remember.”

"Kevin cannot be trusted!"

Diane maintains that Kevin cannot be trusted; “I know that better than anyone. Before he went to prison, he took advantage of me.

"He seemed to be so sincere"

“He seemed to be so sincere, always had a smile – a cheeky chappie! Sheryl had just accused him – that took some courage – and what did I do? I invited him to stay with us! I was the only one stupid enough to believe him. I even got Elin to be his solicitor – free of charge! He knows exactly what he is doing –

"He made a fool of me!"

“he made a fool of me, and I won’t let him do the same to you!”

"What's that orange gunk?"

Anita thinks the meal looks wonderful, but Kelly merely asks, “What’s that orange gunk?” Kevin explains it is carrots cooked in ginger, honey and orange juice, so she enquires, “Have you got any normal carrots?”

Kevin opens the wine bottle

Kevin remembers that Meic loved cooking Christmas dinner, and would not let anyone else in the kitchen. Anita agrees that he always wanted Christmas to be special,

Anita shows off her locket

and shows Kevin the locket Meic gave her on his last Christmas. “He didn’t always buy me something nice though, I got a Hoover one year, with an attachment to clean the car!” Kevin recalls that she nearly hit Meic with the attachment.

"Just one – to stop you hassling me!"

After goading by Anita, Kelly agrees to try just one of the exotic carrots; “Anything to stop you hassling me!” she grumbles.

"We can go over the script later"

In the café flat, Ed suggests, “We’ll go over the script later, if you want. It’s a laugh, doing something different together!”

"You were agreeing with Dani!"

Sioned’s opinion is somewhat different; “I thought we were going to try and make this work, but I’m confused – there you were, agreeing with Dani!”

"I was just trying to help"

He pleads that he was only trying to help, but Sioned continues, “Do you enjoy making a fool of me?

"From now on, you have to agree with me!"

“From now on you have to agree with me – not her! Take that script out of my sight – I don’t want to see it,

"I want a cwtch!"

and then come back – I want a cwtch!”

Anita, perplexed by the cracker joke

Anita reads out, in English, a cracker joke; “What is the most popular Christmas wine?” and looks puzzled by the answer, “I don’t like Brussels sprouts.”

This apparently does not work in Welsh,

"Come on – whine, as in grumble!"

and exasperated, Kelly says, “Come on – wine, whine, as in grumble!” Then Anita thanks Kelly for sitting down there with them, as she knows it is not easy.

"A few posh carrots won't change what he did!"

She proposes a toast, but Kelly objects, ‘What? You think we’re big mates? Happy families? A few posh carrots won’t change what he did!”

"Just eating my food is enough"

Kevin acknowledges that Kelly sitting down and eating his food is enough for him.

"Give him a wide berth!"

Diane continues to work on Jason: “I’m not proud of it, but it shows what he’s like.” Dai backs this up by warning Jason to stay away from him and give him a wide berth.

"He was desperate!"

Jason explains that Kevin was desperate, scared of going to prison and that anyone else would have done the same. Diane is unmoved; “He’s poison, can’t you see that? You should be thinking of the baby!”