Cwmderi Diary 2016: 21 December 2016

Ed is required for a rehearsal

Tyler meets Ed and Sioned in the street and says that Ed is required for a rehearsal. Dani also approaches, and Sioned comments, “Here comes Andrew Lloyd Webber!”

"Come on, Ed, we've got work to do!"

Then Sioned insists, “Come on, Ed, we’ve got work to do, a business to run!”

"I'll get there as soon as I can"

Ed tells Dani that he will be there as soon as he can.

Tyler remarks that she must be stressed, but Dani’s opinion is, “No – she’s just horrible!”

"Those sisters don't deserve their names!"

In their flat, Colin is rehearsing his part when Britt’s phone rings;

"£753 – no, it wasn't me!"

Her face falls as she demands, “What transaction? £753? No, it wasn’t me!” Then she tells Colin it was the bank; “Someone tried to pay for a flight to Greece with my credit card, but the bank stopped it!

"I think we both know who did it!"

“I think we both know who did it!”

Gaynor has cleared Courtney's locker

Gaynor visits Eileen with a bag of things cleared from Courtney’s locker at school, and asks if Eileen will be at the pantomime tonight.

Eileen looks inside

After Gaynor goes, Eileen looks inside the bag and finds a diary, which she hides when she hears Jim coming.

"They ask me what I'm doing at Christmas!"

He complains that he has been asked three times what they are doing at Christmas; “As if I care – they don’t understand, do they?” he says.

"I'll put the bag there"

Eileen tells him that Gaynor brought some of Courtney’s things and places the bag beside Jim’s chair.

"Someone tried to book a flight with my card!"

Chester is eating crisps in the café when Britt marches in and advises him, “The bank just phoned – someone tried to book a flight with my card!”

"I'll pay you back"

Chester nonchalently replies that he will pay her back; “They stopped the payment, so you won’t have to pay me back!” Britt continues.

"They didn't stop the payment on the other card!"

Then Chester surprises her; “They didn’t stop the payment on the other card! I managed to book a flight on the 28th from Cardiff Airport.”

"What on earth is wrong with you?"

“What on earth is wrong with you, Chester?” demands Britt, “What have I done to deserve being treated like this?”

He answers, “Nothing – I just hate it here. No-one likes me and the only one who understands is Garry.” Britt points out that Garry is helping refugees out there, and would not understand this self-pitying rubbish.

"I'll get hold of your ear and drag you out!"

“You’re not going – you’re coming home with me to cancel that flight!” she orders, “I’ll get hold of your ear and drag you out of here now if you don’t come with me!”

Chester decides to go quietly

He decides it would be less embarrassing to comply with her instructions.

"I really have to go now"

In the very gloomy Deri Deithio office, Ed tells Sioned, “Now I really have to go,

"No – we have to go through these bookings"

but she insists that they need to go through tomorrow’s bookings for Cair Sir Gar, pointing out that do not want to lose out on bookings.

"I thought you'd agreed"

“I thought you’d agreed that I can do the pantomime,” Ed reminds her.

She takes exception to this; “You make me sound like your boss –

"No – we both agreed!"

“we both agreed that, after you finish your work here. You start on the reminders and I’ll fetch your costume from the Deri.”

Britt has lost an awful lot of money here

Britt is far from happy to find the flight is non-refundable and non-transferable.

“Paying you back won’t be a problem – I’ll get a job when I come back from Greece,” Chester informs her.

"Do you think I'm letting you go?"

“Do you think I’m letting you go after this?” she demands,

"You won't get far without this!"

“You won’t get far without this!” as she brandishes his passport, which she had the foresight to confiscate.

"You're going to shape up!"

“Listen here – you’re going to shape up – help Dani with the pantomime, be nicer to Colin, then work a few shifts in the chippy! Maybe there’s hope for you yet!”

"Here's your costume – and a sandwich"

Sioned brings in the Diabolo Dad costume for Ed, but as he starts putting it on, she grabs both his mobile and the landline phone,

She locks the door

leaves the office and locks the door behind her.

"Sioned, open this door!"

His hammering on the door is in vain.

Last-minute preparations

In the Deri flat the panto characters are running through their lines;

"I just want this to be over!"

Gethin, the rat, just wants this to be over. When Dani asks where Ed is,

Tyler suspects the Evil Stepmother

Tyler suggests, “Perhaps he’s at Deri Deithio, because the Evil Stepmother doesn’t want him to do the pantomime!”

"I'd like to help with the pantomime"

Dani goes to investigate, on the way meeting Chester in the Deri, who says, not very convincingly, that he wants to help with the pantomime;

"You can deal with the props"

she assigns him to the props and then rushes off.

Jim is again very doleful

Jim sits mournfully in the flat and tells Eileen that he is not going;

"I want to be left alone"

“I know you’re trying to help, but I want to be left alone,” he says.

"Where's Ed, then?"

When Dani questions her, Sioned maintains that Ed had one fare and was going direct to the Deri from there. Dani points out that he is not answering his phone, and as she saw a light on in the Antur, she wants to go and check there.

Sioned's ruse appears to have backfired

“There’s no point in checking – it’s closed!” argues Sioned, but is told if she will not open up there, Dani will get Jason or Anita to do it. Sioned has no option but to let her in.

"Someone locked me in"

When Ed is discovered, locked in there, he says that ‘someone’ locked him in, and Sioned is quick to throw the blame on the cleaners. He also explains that he ‘forgot’ his phone.

"Come on – it's already started!"

Dani is in a hurry to get him to the Deri.

The glamorous ugly sisters

The performance has begun, with Prettily wondering who they will hook up with tonight, and Adorable remarks upon

The audience seem to be enjoying it

how ugly the audience are; “There are no lookers in the Deri!” she says.

"I'm just texting Jim"

In the audience, Britt sends a message to Jim as she is worried about him,

Buttons arrives

and then the Ugly Sisters call for Buttons, who has an invitatation for them.

"That horrible Sinderelo!"

“That horrible Sinderelo is not going to the party,” they decide.

Aaron and Gwern like it

Meanwhile, Chester is booing everything that Colin says,

"Don't take it out on my pantomime!"

so Dani confronts him, backstage, “Whatever your problem with Colin is, don’t take it out on my pantomime!

"People are out there, having fun!"

“Out there, people are listening and having fun – you’re here, lonely and grumpy. I don’t know what’s the matter with you – and I don’t care! Off you go – home, now!”

Iolo, allegedly with holey underpants

Adorable insists that Sinderelo cannot go to the party looking like that, and Prettily calls attention to the holes in his underpants.

The significance of the rat behind the bar is not explained

The rat pops up behind the bar.

The star of the show makes his appearance

Ed comes in as Diabolo Dad and comments, “The best Savile Row suit can’t hide the fact that you’re so ugly and good-for-nothing!

"Don't talk about your step-son like that!"

Dani arrives, with her wand to reprimand him for talking like that to his step-son. “Well, hello, who are you?” asks Ed, and Dani introduces herself as Sorceress Shh, so named as she knows everyone’s secrets, even his.

Sioned is unimpressed . . .

At this point Eileen decides she must return home, as she is concerned about Jim. Sioned’s anger is inflamed

. . . when the Sorceress fancies Diabolo Dad

as Dani tells Ed, “This is a man who wants to be understood and loved,”

No, she definitely does not look happy

and kisses him.

Eileen arrives home to find that Jim has gone to bed and left her a note.

"You're the one!"

Tyler fits the slipper on Iolo’s foot; he announces, “You’re the one! Will you marry me and live for ever in my castle –

"It cost me three hundred million!"

“which cost three hundred million to build?” As Iolo consents to this and Tyler carries him off, there is a wave of applause.

The grand finale

The rest of the cast form a guard of honour and the happy couple process through it. Then Dani winds up with a poem (carefully crafted to rhyme in English too).

Sorceress Shh waxes poetic

Now it’s the end of our little show,

After the prince found his Sinderelo;

Merry Christmas from all of us here –

The bar is open, and the drinks are not too dear!

"I can do better than a pint"

Siôn goes to the bar for a couple of pints, but Britt presents him and Gwyneth with a bottle of champagne on the house;

They are given a back-handed compliment

“I can’t think of a pair who deserve each other quite like you two!” she says.

"How long will you be, Ed?"

Sioned demands how long Ed will be, as they have a lot of work tomorrow, and she is tired. Ed says in that case he will see her later,

"He has to have a couple of pints first!"

and Tyler is insistent, “He’s not going with you – he has to have a couple of pints first!”

"He was spoiling everything"

Dani apologises to Britt for sending Chester home; “He was spoiling everything,” and Britt agrees with her.

Another call from Garry

Then Dani’s phone rings – it is Garry.

"I wonder what Sioned has lined up for me?"

Ed looks very apprehensive about what awaits him when he gets home

Eileen looks at Courtney's Diary

Eileen retrieves the diary and begins looking at it.

"I won't fight back – knife or hammer?"

When Ed reaches the café flat he says, “Just do your worst, Sioned. I won’t fight back – shall I fetch your weapon of choice? Knife? Hammer?”

"What's wrong with me, Ed?"

He is astonished by her reply, “What’s wrong with me, Ed? I don’t recognise myself any more – it’s always been in me to be like this – to be cruel – but things have gone too far this time.

"I don't want to live like this"

“I don’t want to live like this. Dad would turn in his grave to see me like this.”

"I want to get help"

Ed sits down, as she goes on, “I want to go and see someone to get help.” He suggests it is either that or letting him go, but she is adamant,

"I love you and want to be with you for ever!"

“I love you and want to be with you for ever!”

“For ever is a long time to be like this!” he comments. She repeats that she is going to see someone, but pleads that she needs his support. “OK, I’ll do all I can to support you,” he confirms,